One on One Interactions Can Be Healing!

 The scriptures teach us that we must love other. To me love is more than just saying it, but rather an action. When we truly love someone we show them by word and by deed. In order to love someone we must have one on one interactions with them. This principle of one on one interaction bleeds into almost every aspect of every ones lives. At work we must establish relationships with our peers, leaders, clients, and customers. At home we interact with out siblings, parents, spouses, and kids. Establishing these relationships we must have one on one interactions or the relationships will be shallow. I suggest to you that having one on one interactions with those around us not just provides strong relationships, but healing as well. How many times have we had a conversation with someone we love and know, or better yet, a stranger, and they say something that was just exactly what you needed to hear at that time? Spending one on one time with those around us can be very healing. 

In Mark 5 we learn about a women who had a blood issue. She heard Jesus Christ and when he walked passed she touch his garments and was healed. 

25 And a certain woman, which had an issue of blood twelve years,

26 And had suffered many things of many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was nothing bettered, but rather grew worse,

27 When she had heard of Jesus, came in the press behind, and touched his garment.

28 For she said, If I may touch but his clothes, I shall be whole.

Note her faith she had in Jesus Christ. Incredible. She believed that if she could just touch his clothes she would be healed. 

29 And straightway the fountain of her blood was dried up; and she felt in her body that she was healed of that plague.

30 And Jesus, immediately knowing in himself that virtue had gone out of him, turned him about in the press, and said, Who touched my clothes?

34 And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace, and be whole of thy plague.

Verse 34 is what stands out to me most. Jesus Christ decides to have a one on one interaction with this women. Know Jesus Christ sacred and important role he played and is still playing on the the children of men, perhaps he could have spent his time doing something else. Surely there were others who needed to be healed or comforted. Perhaps. I imagine the Savior kneeling down to this women. Perhaps with a soft smile and light in His eyes. He teaches her and commands her. Talk about a one on one interaction. We don't know what happened to this women after but I can imagine that this moment changed her life for ever and provided future healing in her life as she dwelt on this experience. I know that showing love to others is good. I know that we all have a roll to fill in helping those around us. One of the greatest ways I believe we can do this is by having one on one interactions with people.

Obedience to God's Commandments Equal Disciplined Disciples

 The New testament is a book of holy scripture that teaches us about Jesus Christ. We read about Jesus Christ birth, the many miracles he performed, his crucifixion, and resurrection. We learn about men and women who followed him, became his followers and testified of Jesus Christ throughout there lives. What I find fascinating is that they were men and women who were ordinary people. We learn that Matthew was a tax collector who worked for the Roman empire. Andrew, Peter, James, and John were fishermen. In Matthew chapter 4 versus 19-20, we read about some of these fisherman, who later became apostles of Jesus Christ. 

1)     “And he saith unto them, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men. And they straightway left their nets and followed him.”  Note here that Christ is speaking to Peter and Andrew, and gives to them an invitation, " Follow me". After Jesus gives this invitation he provides a promise, "I will make you fishers of men." The next part to these versus is the take away part for me. It reads in verse 20, "And they straightway left their nets and followed him." Wow! The word straightaway can mean straight onward, without turn or curve, or immediately; right away. Peter and Andrew immediately left there nets and followed Jesus. They were obedient immediately.  Obedience to Gods commandments is essential to our spiritual progression. It can be hard to change, break bad habits, and start doing what God has asked us to do. Peter and Andrew were fisherman, this was there job. This was familiar to them, and they were doing a good thing. However, the Lord commanded them, and they obeyed. They showed true discipline in there action through this immediate obedience.

         I suggest that Obedience to God's commandments equal disciplined disciples. At times we need to remain disciplined in being obedient. This dichotomy is one that I'm striving to understand every day. I hope that I can straightway leave my nets, whatever that may mean for me. This takes daily effort, and throughout time, progress will be made in my discipleship. Disciples of Jesus Christ are disciplined in being obedient to Gods commandments.

hf

Blended Families

Hey everyone! Welcome back to the Family Gainz blog! This semester we have discussed all kinds of topics surrounding the family. For this week we will be covering blended families. We will direct our blog on a book that covers and discusses blended families. The book is called "The Remarried Family." This book was written by the Jewish family services over 30 years ago and is a good resource to look to to gain an understanding of the difficulties and potential rules a blended family can incorporate. Now, I'm not suggesting that this is the fix all or a gospel truth, but I feel very strongly that these concepts covered in this book are very valuable and worth our discussion today.
Now, there are 4 main principles that this book covers that we will discuss today.
1) Accept: 2 years=normality
Statistics from the Jewish family services have identified that in order for a blended family (Parents and Children) to feel that this new family is normal in thee lives that it takes, on average, 2 years for this to occur. Some reasons for this is that in those years the couple has gone through a lot of decisions making about holidays, birthdays, school years, and other life style decisions and family traditions that they have to work with.
2) Heavy Parenting Belongs to the Birth Parent
When you have a "new" parent in the picture it is not only difficult for most parents to handle parenting the "new" child, but it also can become hard for the "new" child to take correction from the "new" parent. Ideally parents are to work together in unity in all things. The Jewish Family Services have identified that it is best in most cases for the birth parent of the child to do the "heavy" parenting.
3) Step Parent= Fantastic Aunt/Uncle
We all either have that one aunt or uncle who is the cool or fun aunt or uncle. This concept of having the step parent being almost like a fantastic aunt or uncle is very interesting. A fantastic aunt or uncle is very playful, loving, kind, giving, influential, and supportive. This doesn't mean that the step parent isn't there parent but in a way acts like how a perfect aunt or uncle would act.
4) Parents Council Together Often
Blended families have a lot to handle and consider than a traditional family. There are a lot of dynamics in a blended family. It is essential that these parents council together often. It is important that they have an open and honest line of communication established in order for that family to thrive.
Blended families have over a 60% chance to end in a divorce. Having guidelines and help like these steps can provide, can help blended families be successful. Every situation is different, but the principle of working together as a family and as a couple is so essential in situations like these. Families can be together, happy, and satisfied no matter how they look.

Parenting

Hey everyone! This weeks topic is on parenting. It is impossible for me to write this blog and or think about parenting without first thinking and writing about my parents. As we have discussed parenting this week I thought of my parents and how they did it. They had 6 children, 5 of them are boys. My mom loves being a parent and if she could have it her way she'd have 6 more children!
As I have looked back on my parents and continue to observe them, I have come to realize that first they arent perfect, they actually know what they are talking about, and most importantly they tried and continue to do there very best to bless the lives of there children. I am so proud of my parents because they have taught me that when life gets hard you continue on, holding close to your heart what you know, your values, and your love for your family. The most important lesson I would say that they have taught me that I wish I can someday take and apply in my own parenting is the principle of sacrifice. To first define what parenting is and its role, it may be that we as parents are to provide, and assist our children in becoming prepared to live and thrive in the world in which they live. With this definition of parenting, and looking at my parents they have done this. At the core of it all, I can find that sacrifice as a key ingredient in this process. Although, we all as there children took different paths and are on different paths, and have had our struggles, it does not mean that our parents failed us. Again, I am so proud of my parents, and I thank them for sacrificing so much for me and my siblings so that we can thrive in the world in which we live.
AS for me know, i don't have children...yet, but plan to. Although the topic of this week is parenting and im not a parent yet it doesn't mean that i shouldn't at least prepare myself the best i can for when that day comes. The preparation for parenting may be hard, and overwhelming because you really don't know how its going to be until it happens. The one thing that I won't to talk about that has helped me is that i am first a husband to my wife before a father to my children. With this in mind, i'm not suggesting that we neglect our responsibilities as a parent's but to rather show to your children how much you love there mother. It is true to say that our families foundation and success is a satisfying marriage between the parents. so the way that I can best prepare for parenting is to love, cherish, serve, respect, and work together with my wife.
Parenting is an exciting topic for my wife and I and when that day comes it will forever be a calling for both of us to strive to improve on and get better at.

Family Work

Alright guys, this week I'm going to be honest with you. This blog might be a more challenging one for me to cover. The topic is family work. Now, like any topic on marriage and family there are many avenues that we can travel down and look at. I'l do my best to focus on the history of work and its impact it has made on family life and living through history and in our present day.
Now when did work begin? As a members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we believe that work began from the very beginning, starting with Adam and Eve. God gave them commandment to take care and look after the Garden. God also stated, as they were cat out, that by the sweat of there brow he shall eat his bread and to till the earth. We believe that work began from the start. I want us to imagine for a moment what work for the family of Adam and Eve looked like. Adam surely wasn't waking up at 6:00am to grab his cup of coffee and to eat his breakfast fast enough to beat the morning traffic to head to his 8-5 office job in the city, while his wife took care of the children and prepared them for school that day. No work wasn't like this at all. In fact i'd even argue that work like this didn't even begin to look like this until a couple thousands of years later during the industrial revolution. So what did work look like back then, and how has the industrial revolution changed our view of work within the family system? Well, one can imagine that for Adam and Eve, and many generations following, they were farmers. Dad didn't go off to work for the family while mom stayed home with the children. Rather, Dad and Mom, and children all worked together as a family. The probably learned how to plant and harvest fruits and vegetables. They also had live stock and animals to help with there work and to even butcher and eat as well. Hunting trips were very common haha They didn't go to the local food market to buy milk, they provided that for themselves, TOGETHER as a family. As a family they did everything. Children helped with what they could. Ultimately, for thousands of years the people of this world, worked together in family units cooperatively. What did this do for family's? Perhaps it brought family's closer. Maybe it allowed for stronger parental supervision and correct teaching at home. Wholesome recreational acclivities, teachings of value, love, trust, patience, and other attributes and family traditions were created more easily.
Now, lets look at today. There is a decline in parents being home due to work outside of home. Instead of working at home as a family we have changed into a culture where we leave the home for 8-12 plus hours to go to work. There can be one parent at home to take care of the house and kids. The children now seem to have no responsibilities and parents neglect there duty to promoting there kids to work. What happens to a family then? Well many things, however the one that I want to point out is, the lack of work! Work is essential to this life and if kids arnt having the opportunity to work, im not talking about slave work at home, but im talking about day to day small things that that bring a person to the appreciation that working for something is the best way of recieving something instead of being handed everything for nothing. Work is so important for family's. It creates trust, joy, experience, and good memerioes as we work together as a family. May we as family's choose to work side by side so that we all can contribute in improving our family's.

Communication is key

Alright everyone we are discussing communication in marriage. Communication is a huge topic! Today however i don't want to discuss all there is to know about healthy communication in marriage. I am rather going to discuss the goods and the bads behind good communication.
Now we have verbal and non verbal communication that i'd like to focus on. I know for me an my family, that when Dad gave us that look we knew that he was frustrated. That was a way of communication. Yelling, laughing, speaking, and even the tone in which we speak can all be misinterpreted by the listener. So how do make sure that what we are hearing or saying is being heard or communicated properly? I think it takes a good listener. It can be hard to communicate on some topics however the principle of listening anf repeating back to that person what you think they said can be very valuable. For example If my wife just explained to me that every time I say that joke it makes her unconformable, I can say, " So correct me if im wrong but is this what our saying?" This helps the communicator know that you were trying to really listen and understand. Now, i could've been upset that she was upset at me and the conversation could've been very different, but a good listener listens with patience and love. It can be hard to convey to anyone your thoughts and feelings, but as we do our best to do so, our marriages can flourish.

Family Crisis

Hello Everyone! We are continuing to discuss the family system and how crisis effects families. We will be discussing what a crisis is, and the potential good and bad that can come from family crisis's. Now, What is a Crisis? We have heard this word be used to describe dramatic events. That is exactly what a crisis is. A family crisis is a permanent change in the family system. It is also defined as Danger and opportunity. Family crisis's may include, health complications, financial difficulty, an outside threat, or divorce. It is key to remember that a crisis is not just a stressful time but a permanent change to the family system. We also know that when a crisis occurs, some other problems can occur at the same time. As we properly react to family crisis's we can hope that we can learn and grow together as a family. I was once told that we can make problems a stepping stone or a stumbling block in our lives, however that is up to us to decide.
Now how can we make a family crisis a stumbling block in our lives? Lets take the example of a financial crisis within a family. For there whole marriage, and with raising 6 children, dad worked and provided for the family. These past 5 years the husband and father became so ill that he no longer can work, and is on unemployment. At this point most of the kids are all grown up except for 3 who still remain at home. The wife has always been at home and never really had to work to provide an income. This family has two choices from what i see. They can make is a stepping stone or a stumbling block. They decide to make it a stumbling block. Instead of supporting there parents, the 3 children decide to move in with extended family in hopes that there parents might receive some financial relief because they now have less mouths to feed at home. Instead of causing relief to there family they begin to notice that visits to home and phone calls home became less and less. As the 3 kids finished high school else where they realized that the distance from there parents actually caused a rivet within the family. The wife becomes exhausted with working two jobs, and taking care of her husband  at home, she decides to look to other people for moral support. She starts down the dangerous road of talking to others about her personal life and becomes very close to a particular co-worker. She feels appreciated by him. She feels like she deserves more than what her husband is giving her. So instead of turning to her husband she leaves him for someone else. In this example this family decided to respond to this family crisis in a terrible fashion. They chose to make this crisis a stumbling block in there lives.
Now using this same example what can this family do to make this crisis a stepping stone in drawing together as a family? The 3 children still at home decided to pick up some part time work. As a family they discuss a family plan on how they all can work together in paying for the food and other bills. As the 3 kids work, they dont realize that years down the road they noticed that during the hardest time in there families history, they actually drew closer together because they worked together. Although it was hard for the mom and the kids to be working, they knew they needed to. They never blamed there father for getting sick and losing his job, but thanked him for his good example which intern, inspired the children to work even harder. The wife, decided to work, and look after her husband. Her role changed, but she knew that her calling in life was to assist and help her husband with anything he needed. She felt accomplished because she has realized that through this difficult time she was able to fulfill her calling by expressing her love to her husband in ways she never imagined. This family made and continues to draw closer because of this crisis. Because they reacted positively during a difficult time there family dynamic has changed forever. They all developed habits, and a greater measure of love for each individual family member.
Crisis means a permanent change in the family system. It is danger and opportunity. Family crisis can be exactly what a family needs to draw closer together. Whatever the example is, we all will have a family crisis. We all will be faced with how we are to respond to these difficult times. When we face these difficult times may we say to ourselves, I can either make this a stepping stone or a stumbling block, however, it is up to me.