Family Crisis

Hello Everyone! We are continuing to discuss the family system and how crisis effects families. We will be discussing what a crisis is, and the potential good and bad that can come from family crisis's. Now, What is a Crisis? We have heard this word be used to describe dramatic events. That is exactly what a crisis is. A family crisis is a permanent change in the family system. It is also defined as Danger and opportunity. Family crisis's may include, health complications, financial difficulty, an outside threat, or divorce. It is key to remember that a crisis is not just a stressful time but a permanent change to the family system. We also know that when a crisis occurs, some other problems can occur at the same time. As we properly react to family crisis's we can hope that we can learn and grow together as a family. I was once told that we can make problems a stepping stone or a stumbling block in our lives, however that is up to us to decide.
Now how can we make a family crisis a stumbling block in our lives? Lets take the example of a financial crisis within a family. For there whole marriage, and with raising 6 children, dad worked and provided for the family. These past 5 years the husband and father became so ill that he no longer can work, and is on unemployment. At this point most of the kids are all grown up except for 3 who still remain at home. The wife has always been at home and never really had to work to provide an income. This family has two choices from what i see. They can make is a stepping stone or a stumbling block. They decide to make it a stumbling block. Instead of supporting there parents, the 3 children decide to move in with extended family in hopes that there parents might receive some financial relief because they now have less mouths to feed at home. Instead of causing relief to there family they begin to notice that visits to home and phone calls home became less and less. As the 3 kids finished high school else where they realized that the distance from there parents actually caused a rivet within the family. The wife becomes exhausted with working two jobs, and taking care of her husband  at home, she decides to look to other people for moral support. She starts down the dangerous road of talking to others about her personal life and becomes very close to a particular co-worker. She feels appreciated by him. She feels like she deserves more than what her husband is giving her. So instead of turning to her husband she leaves him for someone else. In this example this family decided to respond to this family crisis in a terrible fashion. They chose to make this crisis a stumbling block in there lives.
Now using this same example what can this family do to make this crisis a stepping stone in drawing together as a family? The 3 children still at home decided to pick up some part time work. As a family they discuss a family plan on how they all can work together in paying for the food and other bills. As the 3 kids work, they dont realize that years down the road they noticed that during the hardest time in there families history, they actually drew closer together because they worked together. Although it was hard for the mom and the kids to be working, they knew they needed to. They never blamed there father for getting sick and losing his job, but thanked him for his good example which intern, inspired the children to work even harder. The wife, decided to work, and look after her husband. Her role changed, but she knew that her calling in life was to assist and help her husband with anything he needed. She felt accomplished because she has realized that through this difficult time she was able to fulfill her calling by expressing her love to her husband in ways she never imagined. This family made and continues to draw closer because of this crisis. Because they reacted positively during a difficult time there family dynamic has changed forever. They all developed habits, and a greater measure of love for each individual family member.
Crisis means a permanent change in the family system. It is danger and opportunity. Family crisis can be exactly what a family needs to draw closer together. Whatever the example is, we all will have a family crisis. We all will be faced with how we are to respond to these difficult times. When we face these difficult times may we say to ourselves, I can either make this a stepping stone or a stumbling block, however, it is up to me.