Hey everyone! Welcome back to the Family Gainz blog! This semester we have discussed all kinds of topics surrounding the family. For this week we will be covering blended families. We will direct our blog on a book that covers and discusses blended families. The book is called "The Remarried Family." This book was written by the Jewish family services over 30 years ago and is a good resource to look to to gain an understanding of the difficulties and potential rules a blended family can incorporate. Now, I'm not suggesting that this is the fix all or a gospel truth, but I feel very strongly that these concepts covered in this book are very valuable and worth our discussion today.
Now, there are 4 main principles that this book covers that we will discuss today.
1) Accept: 2 years=normality
Statistics from the Jewish family services have identified that in order for a blended family (Parents and Children) to feel that this new family is normal in thee lives that it takes, on average, 2 years for this to occur. Some reasons for this is that in those years the couple has gone through a lot of decisions making about holidays, birthdays, school years, and other life style decisions and family traditions that they have to work with.
2) Heavy Parenting Belongs to the Birth Parent
When you have a "new" parent in the picture it is not only difficult for most parents to handle parenting the "new" child, but it also can become hard for the "new" child to take correction from the "new" parent. Ideally parents are to work together in unity in all things. The Jewish Family Services have identified that it is best in most cases for the birth parent of the child to do the "heavy" parenting.
3) Step Parent= Fantastic Aunt/Uncle
We all either have that one aunt or uncle who is the cool or fun aunt or uncle. This concept of having the step parent being almost like a fantastic aunt or uncle is very interesting. A fantastic aunt or uncle is very playful, loving, kind, giving, influential, and supportive. This doesn't mean that the step parent isn't there parent but in a way acts like how a perfect aunt or uncle would act.
4) Parents Council Together Often
Blended families have a lot to handle and consider than a traditional family. There are a lot of dynamics in a blended family. It is essential that these parents council together often. It is important that they have an open and honest line of communication established in order for that family to thrive.
Blended families have over a 60% chance to end in a divorce. Having guidelines and help like these steps can provide, can help blended families be successful. Every situation is different, but the principle of working together as a family and as a couple is so essential in situations like these. Families can be together, happy, and satisfied no matter how they look.
